A quick look back...my 2010

Blogging!!

Umm…I never understood the concept of Blogging, and I still remain unaware as to why people BLOG. Then what am I doing here??? Hmmm….

I have always perceived Journal as a scratch paper to write  every feeling, either good or bad, crooked or naughtiest ones or even the tiny flow of emotions that passes through your heart. And, whatever you write-in, should be your sole property, meant only for you, not to publicize private feelings that could be worthless to millions. I do not find any point on inviting people to read what’s going in my mind.

But anyway, I have a feeling; Blog is somewhat different from Journal. Or may be I still need to dive into my Oxford dictionary for its detail meaning. Whatever be it, my conscience says journal is like my private garden, but blog is something like Public Park where anyone can enter and admire or criticize my feelings. Hence, it would be politically correct to say - this Slight Difference that I saw between Journal and Blogging…made me to start the first blog of my life.

But the blankness is still there….what am I supposed to write? Should I start jotting down my much recent feelings, a feeling of inspiration or zero frequency feeling that just passed through me a sec ago? Or should I start briefing my past experiences or future plans? I’m still in the middle of a huge ocean; don’t know which way I should sail through to be a proficient Blogger.

I am a novice. Apologies to every perfect mind who could have expected my blog to be a great piece of writing. Before you read further, here I warn you, this is my first blog of my life. :-). So, mistakes and shortcoming are inevitable.

Okay…today is the last day of year 2010. So, I hope it would be a fair deal to start my blog with the inscription of my last year. Now, whatever words would follow, that would appear more like a summary than anything, so apologies again. My first blog could sound more like a story teller’s trailer than what actually the blog would have been.  :-)

 So, let’s start. As they rate performances in realities shows…I would like to rate the performance of year 2010 on my life as 8 out of 10.

2010 had been a mix bag for me. Let’s add a little humor here, it was like the quality of roads we have here in Nepal. Somewhere smooth enough to carry life into utmost happiness; somewhere gravels and pitfalls to make me slam on the road, and some roads that ended before they could start. Whatever... 2010 has been an important phase of life, or may be I have started looking into things more positively now. :-)

2010 came into effect with a chilling January. Though everyone welcomed it as a ‘January’, I welcomed it as Wait-Unary. A month that made me wait, wait and still wait. Waiting impatiently for everything. To me there’s nothing more painful than to wait for something. Had there been any award for “Ms.Waiting 2010”…I would have won it unanimously.

Sad news and heart breaking facts all came along so quickly, one after another that I could not even express any reaction to many of them. At that point, I realized that ‘Misfortune never comes alone'.

Well, this is how a life is. This happens in everyone’s life, NOT only in my life. And, I believe every failure makes me more stronger and better to start over new. Gives me energy to learn from my failures and move on to a new arena of success.

I remember some happy and joyful pictures of year 2010.

Waka Waka and sound of Vuvuzela…A World Cup fever; how I stayed awake till late to catch up my favorite team playing. Screaming out loud whenever a goal was scored or missed, rejoicing the victory, dancing on Shakira moves with friends, expecting the other team to play crap when my favorite team was running hard on the ground, and the hangover next day…sleepless working hours. pheww!!

Bike adventures with friends and brothers were awesome(goosebumps). Riding almost at midnight on quite dark highway, shouting,singing &.........., speeding in rainy nights was the most unforgetful experience ever.  Stopping over bridge on our way back and gazing at the full moon companied by twinkling stars and their reflection on the river flowing below – an amazing experience that I would not be able to describe.

And how can I forget, the days of logical conversations, annoying arguments and healthy gossips. And never could I forget those nights of endless prayers and frustration, not been answered for my prayers, wish echoing as disappointments. All these moments of joy, happiness and trails of tears rolling down my cheeks like monsoon rain, still remains intact in my heart.

#TWITTER ; A great place for me where I can talk to myself. I am more attached to twitter as I love my PRIVACY than what #FACEBOOK rips off your private data among millions, even among those who you've never known. Twitter – also gave me something that had key to some happiness in the later part of year. #GVN Scholarship.

#GVN Scholarship: The excitement of video preparation (where I realized I can't be an actor), application and everything was full of inspiration. A contest that I took part in, just because I was really keen to work for children and women touched by their condition right now in Nepal, proved to be a milestone for my dream. But, winning the scholarship was something beyond my expectation.

A moment of victory! That email from GVN , I was speechless for a sec pinching myself hard if it was a reality. I even can’t put in words how happy and excited I was when I knew I was one of the winners. I gave a call to my brother who was half-asleep and he could not figure out my over-excited voice pitch. He arrived  out of surprise and happiness. Together we jumped, screamed and kept a long-lasting smile on our face. Winning is really good and this moment of joy changed me and made me believe that everything ultimately happens for good a reason.

That gave me a reason to dream and set my goal in Life. I am still living with this REAL dream. Adversities took the shape of generosities, and it gave new frames to my picture. A picture of LOVE-PEACE-EQUALITY- HUMANITY. I found new person in myself. A better person!

PARTIES; The rocking parties like Halloween party in Damak and some farewell parties in Biratnagar. These parties kept my mind occupied. And I thoroughly enjoyed them.

Now comes INDIA trip. It was the most awaited BREAK for all of us. The preparation started a couple of months earlier, from booking tickets online to exploring hotels and the places to visit. Though the arrangement part was really a hectic, but we kept on planning with lots of expectations from the cosmopolitan and historical cities in India. The excitement to see one of the eight wonders of World “Taj Mahal” and the beach for the first time added up to the curiosities.

 The tiring train journeys, countless supply of spicy foods in train and wonderful sea experience, as a whole, this trip was also a turning point for me. Throughout the tour, I got to learn lessons every new day, understand people, their behaviors and knowing everything at micro level.

But somehow my expectations with the Indian land, soon drained out, as we reached New Delhi, where a couple of Rickshaw pullers tried cheating us, showing a fake tourism office, taking us round and round, not towards the hotel we were trying to stay in, but to some other places where they could get heavy commissions. When protested, they left us somewhere on the one-way road (but I did not pay him a penny), where we had to walk for almost half an hour, then catch another rickshaw to reach our mentioned place of stay. And, what we see, the hotel that was looking great in pictures on internet, was a real shit standing in a creepy environment..GROSS!. My advice to everyone visiting India, please do not book your rooms beforehand, getting attracted to luxurious designs of hotel pictures on Internet (If you're a budget traveler).

 Almost everywhere, we were followed by touts, beggars and hotel brokers irritating us with questions that we heard million times. Ma’am you want hotel? Ma’am you need a car? Ma'am guide?? Errrrgh Give me a break !!!

Shopping…. Shopping in India is like playing your luck against the odds. You have to be perfect in bargaining and you would never know you are being cheated. Indian markets do not hesitate selling you a thing at 100USD if it costs only 10 USD. Shopkeepers sound excellent when they call you sister, brother, daughter to butter out more and more products, but soon you would get frustrated when you find the same thing at cheaper price at other places.

 People…. If we ask anyone for any direction, they would show us their hotels, shops or nothing. Never ask any rickshaw pullers for any direction, they would make you sit on their three-wheelers and cut out your budget. Better carry a lonely planet book. That really helped us. The worst people we met were in Agra. Rude, impolite and no any feeling of hospitality and respect. Completely disappointed.

 The saddest part was I did not feel any AURA when I saw Taj Mahal for the first time. For some seconds, I asked to myself, am I heartless person? A concrete example of eternal love was right there in front of me, and I was not awestruck. Ahh…whatever the reason, but I was definitely carried away by its architecture and mesmerized by the life style of Mughals then. But somewhere, the magic was missing. I enjoyed my first meeting with an ocean. Loved Digha beach, but not the people for sure.

The whole trip was a lesson to me. The lesson that I got to learn would help me see things in a right way before coming to any conclusion. Things went upsetting at some points when friends misunderstood. I should not have mentioned it here, but I felt it so hard to react at that moment, it was completely unexpected and hurtful.

I always have this feeling that if my words hurt someone, s/he should come to me and express it to me. I never find it difficult to beg an apology if I have done anything wrong to him/her.  But if you go and talk to someone else about me at my back, I really find it unacceptable. Also, judging me or commenting on me without knowing the actual facts, just listening to someone else' version is quite intolerable. Anyway, now it’s a past. I wish I could but now no one can go back and rectify the errors. Two is a company, three or more than three is a crowd, and I got lost in the mass.

After the tiring Indian tour, finally we got back to Nepal where piles of files were waiting for me. Work is always a fun to me. Is this true ?? no excuse!! lol

Then, pre Christmas came friend Edward who has been travelling countries and visiting Nepal. I was happy to offer him to stay at my place during his journey through Biratnagar. My brother Gopal, Ed and me, together we made a bike ride to Bhedetar, had a superb time with them cracking out their songs disturbing neighbors and their hypothetical (annoying) stories. We played cricket with a local children somewhere near Tamor river,I still have the picture of that cute lil' boy in my mind who was keeping the wicket . And at last all posing for camera like the CHAMPIONS. 

Travelling experiences of Ed in India was much like ours. Ed soon became a family member, with his broken Nepali ‘Hazur’ and ‘Didi’. He must have had sores and pains, sitting on our motorbikes every day.

There came Christmas celebration with these two boys. The cricket and football matches that we played at our backyard were  full of fun. And, yes, we watched a hindi movie too…with only me and Gopi laughing out loud in every scenes, while Ed just trying to figure out shapes of SHEELA. Lol.

Ed staying at my place and Gopi adding up the enthusiasm were the days I won’t find wasted if I am ever given a chance to re-live those moments. Sometimes, it’s a small thing and the little changes that make you feel like a million bucks.

Whoooops! you might be feeling bored and sleepy reading out my endless and pointless summary. These sentences are still not enough to cover my 12 months experience and feelings, but I hope it has drawn some pictures of my good and bad 2010.

Now it’s time to welcome 2011. It’s now time to have fix resolutions and lock these resolutions in a metal box and throw away its key into the ocean. :-).

Not really! It’s the time to make some effective resolutions. A simple one to which I can do the justice.

 My resolution for 2011 is to be more positive and more patient in life. Cautions and focused will be the two important factors that I will always carry with me throughout the year.

It does not interest me what others have done last year; I am more focused on what I’m gonna do next year.

Happy New Year 2011 !!!

Love- Peace- Equality, Be Human.

XOXO

Jo_tee